Froggy

and the dream included MC Frontalot as a main character.

Seriously, I have no idea either. My dreams are getting weirder and weirder for reasons that completely elude me.

For the first time in a long time I'm actually looking forward to the holidays. I don't know what it is this year that's making the difference. Maybe it's that I'm finally getting my shit together mentally and physically. Maybe it's because we're hosting the actual Christmas meal and festivities with my parents and sister, whom is flying in front out of town. Heck, putting up all of the Christmas lights outside and actually putting up a tree are two big steps.

For all I know it could be that my new laptop is arriving tomorrow (3 weeks early!)

Anyway, I'm excited for things to come. Dinner this year will consist of a standing rib roast fresh from the West Side Market. Include in that homemade mashed potatoes, a couple different fresh veggies and probably another side dish or two yet to be determined. A small gift exchange will commence, and hopefully all of us can sit around the fireplace and just relax.

Life is going pretty good, overall. Up to about 9 different pills every morning just to maintain, but once I lose a little more of this weight I hope I can get off a couple of them. Until then, I'm just riding the wave and watching what I eat and do.

Relationship-wise I realizing I'm acting with a lot more caution and hesitation than I ever have in the past. This is certainly not a bad thing, of course, but after how many times I've been, well... not necessarily "burned" but, I guess, confused, I feel a bit more analysis and restraint is probably a good thing. That said, it so happens that I've stumbled upon someone new who I am so far enjoying talking to that is, for lack of a better phrase, almost too good to be true. Ack! Perhaps now is the best time for restraint anyway. ;)

So tomorrow I should hopefully be surfing and posting from the new laptop while sitting in front of our new TV (yeah for being able to deprecate the old CRT based projection TV!). Hopefully we can save some money (heh) because it's an LED LCD. In any regard, it's fucking gorgeous and hopefully tygerdsebat and I can finally sit down and watch Fifth Element in blu-ray.

Mmmm.. ultra high-def Milla Jovovich.

Until then, I'm out.

I find it kind of scary that in a lot of ways I wish I could live the life of Peter Gibbons in Office Space. Too many parallels to how I currently feel. I guess that's why it's a good movie, though.

A little down in the dumps and feeling rather unwanted and unattractive. I know it's not the case and I know many of you love me and care about me. Still, I'm getting rather frustrated with the trend of going out with someone a couple of times and then have them basically break things off without any real good reason that I am aware of.

Overall it makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Am I that boring or uninteresting to spend time with? Am I only attracted to people who, mostly, have absolutely no interest in me once they start to get to know me? tygerdsebat is of course one notable exception.

Anyway, no need to say, "At least you have tyger!", etc. etc. I'm aware I have her, and I'm aware that poly isn't for everyone. I'm just frustrated overall.

Hopefully I can channel a lot of this energy into Notacon and music. We'll see, though. For me, being busy won't really change much of the base feeling. I'm sure good things will happen with both, etc. etc.

Anyway... yeah. I'm done.

3.75 mile walk in a little over an hour down Detroit and back again. A nice evening for a walk, but the coat was a bit much, as I'm really warm now.

I constantly feel like I bring nothing to the table.

I was productive today on dealing with some of the Toorcamp construction projects. 80% of the lumber I needed is cut, mostly it's just assembly and finishing that's left. Still need to get a few sheets of OSB from the hardware store, but with the Notacon on Toor party bus now running, we should be able to make that run (Good job, skyspirit!)

More pics and stuff later... :D

I have so many self-image issues I still need to address and resolve.

http://tygerdsebat.livejournal.com/568273.html

Ugh. That is all.

Other than having what I believe to be my first migraine, increasing neck and joint pain, as well as slight tingling and numbness in my left hand, my week has been pretty darn good.

Hackerspace meeting tonight that went well, Tea yesterday that was productive and progress on the geodesic dome project.

Also? I got to see DG twice this week.

I would say I feel like I'm in highschool, but, honestly, I never really had relationships in highschool. Pity.

Tyger and I cut probably 34 or so pieces of EMT tonight to create almost 70 of the struts for the geodesic dome we are erecting at various events this summer. Still have a lot to go, and we still have to trim half of what we cut to the right length later, but a start is a start.

Starting a diet by not eating anything perhaps isn't the wisest of ideas, but I haven't even had time yet today to eat lunch.

Time for a meeting.

Time to get serious again about the weight loss. I had measurable success doing the weight watchers thing, so I'm going to give it another whirl. My biggest obstacle is denying to myself that I have a problem and need to confront it every moment of every day. I don't know if I have the mental fortitude to do that, but I have to try.

Exercise will be a component, too, of course, but overall I don't forsee that being a huge problem considering how many physically demanding construction projects I have on my plate right now. It's not the best exercise, but I certainly break a sweat and get my heart going.

The One Question Meme

1 question.
1 chance.
1 honest answer.
That's all you get.

You get to ask me 1 question. Any question, anything, no matter how crazy,
dirty, or wrong it is.

One catch, that should go without saying: no mentioning the questions or
answers to others.

But I dare you to repost this. And see what people ask you!

Questions and answers are screened.

- Notacon is going great, even if we are currently projecting a deficit of a few thousand dollars
- This year is shaping up superbly in terms of fun events, camp-outs, as well as artistic and hacker things.
- I wish I felt even remotely desirable by anyone who was actually available. It seems like anyone I have an interest in that I feel has any interest either A) lives really far away or B) has a fucked up/convoluted/busy life that doesn't include even the slightest bit of room for me.
- My dreams have been incredibly bizarre as of late. On the upside, I'm getting more and better sleep and am actually dreaming again.
- Work still blows chunks, but at least it's currently at a manageable level of suck.
- Hanging out with the Recycled Rainbow group has been stimulating, inspiring and invigorating. I am really glad I finally found people that are incredibly local and incredibly cool to hang around on top of all of the other really great people I already know in the Cleveland area. Our powers shall combine to make beauty and greatness.
- As a sub-note to the above, one of the organizers is *incredibly* cute. I have an absolutely huge crush on her. For the time being I'm just trying to be chill about it until I feel more comfortable with the situation and the group. I have strong fears of potentially fucking up something that right now is really cool.
- My libido has been peaking lately, much to my ire and frustration. I absolutely HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE it.

This weekend should hopefully be relaxing, which is amusing since it's now Notacon Crunch Time (tm). We are going to check out the Holiday Inn in Strongsville as a potential new venue for Notacon. This will involve a Saturday meeting with their events manager as well as a nights stay at their facility. Hopefully it will allow tygerdsebat an opportunity to both relax and take care of some small shopping items at the nearby mall. On top of that, it will literally be a 5 minute drive to my parent's place on Sunday for Easter dinner.

So, to recap, things are pretty normal. You also received a rather substantive post and I was able to take written inventory of my life thus far. Hopefully I will be wrong about the dire predictions in regards to Notacon's financials this year, but I also want to remain realistic.

That’s all, nothing else. Yesterday was shitty as well. The whole, “Hey, Notacon, we need $11,000, like, today.”

Wait… what?

Anyway, fuck today and fuck this week.

Now on to find snuggles and cuddles. blah.


NOTE TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO REGISTER EARLY FOR NOTACON!

tygerdsebat and I are hosting an Open House on Saturday, March 21st at our home in Lakewood. Grilling starts at 5, come for conversation, cuddling, music, food and friends. All are welcome. With luck, this will be a multi-level indoor/outdoor event with bonfire. Woot! Crash space available on a first-come, first serve basis.

Snacks, soda, open bar and some beer. Participants are encourage to bring a dish to share and libations of their own to enjoy and share.

Some street & driveway parking available, or at the Beck Center if there isn't a show that evening. Please RSVP so that we can gauge capacity and attendance. Also bring a camp chair just in case if you can.

If you don't have the address, please ask.

I think I re-broke and/or otherwise jammed my toe again last night. This is the same toe I broke a few years back and seem to annually hurt in some form or other. Perhaps it's a sign I'm just clumsy or maybe it's just that the toe is masochistic. If that's the case, I wish it would at least give me a heads up since I am overall not.

Stupid little piggies.

tygerdsebat pointed me to this article on an octopus at a zoo. Totally awesome. I have always liked octopi, or as they call them in Spanish, "pulpos".

An amusing exceprt:

"Otto has been seen juggling the hermit crabs, throwing stones against the glass damaging it. And now and again he completely re-arranges his tank to make it suit his own taste better. He's not worried about the distress he causes his fellow tank inhabitants."

You go, Otto, you go!

It's been awhile since I've posted much. A lot of life recently has been work/Notacon related as well as some PC gaming here and there. Today has been a particularly good day after this past, rather satisfying, weekend. The reason? New laptop! Woo hoo! Not only new, but one in which I actually own instead of something that is owned by my employer. This hasn't happened in probably a decade or so. On top of that, not only did I get a new laptop, but I was one of the few lucky ones that got one with a higher resolution screen (most in the model have on that's 1440x800, this one is 1920x1200). So, currently, I am happy as a fly on shit.

Notacon itself is quickly becoming awesome, as we just got done selecting our slate of presenters for this year. Financially it's going to be challenging, but I know we can pull it off, stay within budget and still put on one hell of a show. I can't wait to see everyone busy, talking and engaged come April 16th. As always, we need more people to register for the event, but that will come, in time.

Relationship wise, things are confusing, but interesting. Overall I'm really happy. As if it needed to be stated more, tygerdsebat is one of the best people I think I could have ever hoped to end up with. Every day I find new bonds that tie us and an even deeper one. I really like that and it's a nice contrast to a lot of our Bad Old Early Days. I'm proud of her for so many reasons.

Financially we're still working ourselves out of debt, but doing so at an accelerated pace that is even astounding me. Even with a new laptop, we should be out of debt on target provided Notacon doesn't lose money and provide both of us keep our jobs. Even though I don't necessarily like mine all of the time, I am still trying to give it my all. I've had some really positive interactions with students and faculty lately which really helps. I enjoy having projects that I can see through to completion, and I think a couple of the ones I am working on will have enough resources to do just that.

Still need more hugs, more snuggling and all of that other soft stuff, but I'm happy. Mostly I'm looking forward to the summer. tygerdsebat, I and a small contingent of other folks are looking to attend Toorcamp over the July 4th weekend in Washington state. If we can pull it off I think it will be a kick ass trip and right up my alley. Burning Man means Hacker Con. Sounds like a hell of a lot of fun to me.

Need to get more sleep these days, so I'll end this now. More soon, perhaps? Anything you folks want to know or hear about?